WELCOME TO AN OBSTACLE AUDIT
To figure out which specific ways are making your life WAY harder.
Followed by the '28 DAYS OF AWARENESS and ACTION' CHALLENGE.
ARE YOU READY?
For a life which is not quite so hard (and more fun, fulfilling and joyful)?
Firstly, I would like to thank you for picking up a copy of my book.
My greatest desire in life is to everyone who comes after me, not make the same mistakes I have made, and learn from all of the extra hours I have put in over the last 20+ years in particular to figure out what works best and what doesn't, in the majority of cases.
One of the greatest gains from reading a book, isn't the distraction or enjoyment of reading. Sorry.
It is taking what you have learned and applying it to your life...to make it easier, more joyful, more peaceful, more fulfilling and more of a grand adventure. THAT is where the real reward is at.
So I put together this wee OBSTACLE AUDIT and 28-DAY CHALLENGE to help you INTEGRATE into your life, what you were made aware of - or were reminded of - in my book.
The aim is to work on 4 aspects, over 4 weeks, so you get to immerse yourself in awareness of a singular WAY for a full 7 days.
And now, let's get started. Have fun.
CARL MASSY
Author, Coach, Strategist.
PS: If you want a hand at any stage, don't hesitate to reach out via email - [email protected]
PPS: If you can leave a short review on Amazon, Goodreads or the likes, I would be very very grateful.
STEP 1
Download the PDF document below and then SCORE how you rate against the 18 Ways we make life WAY harder.
1 = does not apply to me.
10 = this is totally me.
* Save this page (URL) as a Bookmark, so you can easily access it later
DOWNLOAD AUDIT HERESTEP 2
Identify which are the 4 HIGHEST scores.
These will be the 4 (specific) WAYS we will focus on as part of the 28 Days of AWARENESS and ACTION.
Clearly mark these famous four on your sheet.
STEP 3
Scroll down below to each of the relevant WAYS, which are listed below as WAY 1 to WAY 18.
Each will have a relevant message, activity request, empowered question, worksheet, or other resource (e.g. Audiobook) for you to undertake.
THE AWARENESS AND ACTION CHALLENGE:
Select ONE "WAY" to focus on each week, for the next 4 weeks.
Meaning you will complete 4 x WAYS over 28 DAYS.
Each week you will focus on a different WAY to be aware of, and to take action on overcoming, transmuting, transcending, and some other high-vibe 'T' word.
WAY 1
When we decide to fight reality.
This one is REALLY simple.
It is introducing a new question into your vocabulary, which challenges the upper brain to critically think.
The Empowered Question is:
"What is the reality?"
Ask this questions LOTS of times each day and every day for the week. Whenever you are feeling off, rattled, or a bit reactive, fire up this question and see how you experience the 'reality' of the experience differently.
Stay curious too.
WAY 2
Is saying 'yes' to that a really good idea?
This one is (again) really quite simple.
And again it is about asking ourselves a better question, so we snap out of apathy, and engage our powerful neocortex.
The Empowered Question is:
“Is this choice going to ADD Complexity,
or REMOVE Complexity, from my life?”
If it is going to add Complexity, make sure there is a guaranteed High ROI (return on investment) for the choice. If it is not high enough, then it is a "Pass".
Finally, dealing with too many things at once (or trying to do too many things at once) is guaranteed to ADD Complexity to your life.
You need to check in on self and get clear if you have a CAPACITY now, and in the near future to handle more complexity.
Ask this question often this week. Even for some choices that 'appear' to be simple or irrelevant. EXERCISE THAT MUSCLE!
WAY 3
When the timeline is off.
This is if you are stressed out about achieving something. A goal or a desire or a big hairy audacious goal.
If you identify your stress, as being related to a particular Goal you have in mind (and a particular timeline), then you need to challenge the validity of the timeline.
Establish if it is okay (and more easeful) if you STRETCH the timeline to a new date of attainment.
Then set the new completion date.
An exercise I find works well is getting a blank piece of paper and drawing a horizontal line on it (maybe representing 12-months). Then seeing how many tasks, projects or activities overlap. It will give you PERSPECTIVE to make a better choices and amend your timeline.
For extra points, you might even get CURIOUS about what you were telling yourself that put the pressure or rush into the project.
WAY 4
Limiting Beliefs and Crappy Stories
The first thing you want to do is to download a copy of my book The Successful Mind as an audiobook.
Remember to ask yourself this million-dollar question, when you notice something in your life, which is out of harmony or not working:
“What am I telling myself (or believing) that is making me feel like crap?”
Then, ask yourself if the statement is 100% true, 100% of the time?
If it is not 100% true then it is time to replace it with something more relevant and current, and start associating yourself mentally, emotionally and physically with this new level of understanding and inner dialogue.
RESOURCE
Download the full version of The Successful Mind by Carl Massy (Audiobook) from Dropbox (top right corner), and learn even more essentials about the power of beliefs.
DOWNLOAD NOWWAY 5
Which way do I go?
It is of great benefit to get a better understanding of where you are at, how you got there and where you want to go.
You need to ask yourself and then answer the right questions.
I strongly encourage you to download the Questionnaire that I send to each of my clients so they 'Get To Know' themselves'.
Download the document and then complete it (it may take you 2hrs if you do it effectively).
You might also ask simple questions like:
What do I want to have?
What do I want to experience?
Who do I want to become?
RESOURCE
Download the Getting To Know You document here (as a Microsoft Word document).
DOWNLOAD NOWWAY 6
Is 'I did it my way' the best strategy?
This is this (very) simple...get much better at asking for HELP.
Set yourself the intention of getting TWICE as good at asking for help this week, compared to how you have been in the past.
Also complete this sentence with the most responses possible.
"The reason I don't ask for help is...?"
Get to understand and become self aware of what stops you from asking for help. Check your beliefs, to ensure they are serving you.
TARGET:
Ask for help a minimum of 3 times this week.
WAY 7
Is your language helping you or harming you?
STEP 1: Pay attention to other peoples language. Consider if what they say is serving them positively or negatively. Consider whether what they say is true of not. Notice if they exaggerate and what the impact is on their emotions. Do they use absolutes? And what is the impact?
STEP 2: Once you get clearer of the impacts our words create, then turn the attention INWARDS.
How are you doing? Are your words impeccable? Truthful? Useful? Calming (or the opposite)?
It will help if you choose to SLOW DOWN this week so you can notice what has probably been unconscious to you for a long time.
THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK THIS WEEK.
WAY 8
Stuffing things in all the gaps
Again this requires you to ask a much better question (from now until forever).
"Is this task (or thing) ESSENTIAL or DESIRABLE?"
If something is only 'desirable' consider parking it for later, or not at all.
Here is an Exercise:
Pull out your weekly schedule, diary, or whatever you use to track your activities and appointments for the week.
Ask the ESSENTIAL and DESIRABLE question for each of the planned activities.
Is your calendar too full? Can you move things around to create more space?
Do you need to contact someone and say 'no', or 'not now', or 'maybe later' or something similar.
Be more guarded with your precious time and life force.
WAY 9
Does it really matter that much?
You can use my own personal mantra:
"I don't take anything too seriously."
Make an appointment to spend time with, or schedule a call with, one of the most funniest, carefree and quirky people in your life.
Watch more funny videos this week.
Watch one of your favourite comedy movies and have a good laugh. Here is a list I found online.
As you move, groove and boogie through your week, notice if you are taking 'all of it' or any of it, too seriously, and then ask yourself:
"Does this really matter that much in the bigger scheme of things?
Seriously?"
WAY 10
Using the same ingredients and expecting a different outcome
Be conscious of not using “I hope it works out this time” as a Strategy, without changing any of the key variables. Especially the variables on the inside – like your beliefs, mindset and internal dialogue.
Look at your life and see if there is something you keep trying to figure out, achieve or impact, but if you were 100% HONEST, you realise you are using the same approach and hoping for different results.
Choose a different approach for this situation, and do an experiment to see what happens (aka: getting real-world feedback).
Don't get attached to the outcome.
Just see what happens.
If you can't think of a different way to approach this, then listen to a Podcast on the topic, read up on the topic, speak to someone qualified or book an appointment with a professional.
WAY 11
Asking the right (or wrong) person for advice
Even though your friends and family may offer you free advice; unless they are an expert in the topic of conversation (with real-world experience), just nod, say a polite “Thanks” and then book an appointment to see a professional.
Professional advice will often save you money, time, energy, heartache, headaches and pain in the long run.
Is there something important in your life where you need higher quality help than what you have used so far?
Book an appointment this week to speak to an expert or Professional to help you figure this out. Then make it happen.
(2 days before writing this, I booked an appointment with a Superannuation specialist, as I have an idea, but I am way-off being a pro on the topic).
WAY 12
Do I really need that?
Do these two things:
- Calculate ‘exactly’ how much your living expenses are. That is your ‘enough’ number. Then figure out your ‘plus some’ number. For me that usually covers travels, personal development experiences (e.g. training, courses, retreats), and savings.
- Download the Spreadsheet (below) where you will track all of your expenses and income, and capture the spending in very detailed criteria. Make the criteria specific to you.
Also order a copy of Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin for extra brownie points.
RESOURCE
Download the Monthly Expenses and Income Tracking Sheet, inspired by Your Money Or Your Life by Vicki Robin
WAY 13
When expectations resemble a Fairy Tale
If you feel yourself getting ticked off (or triggered) by someone – and before you blow your stack – ask yourself if they are acting within character?
Are they acting in a way consistent with their past behaviour?
If yes, be annoyed at what they have done, but skip the being annoyed at them personally for who they are. And if you really don’t like them, for who they are, spend less time with them, or let them go from your life entirely, if possible.
This week pay attention to the people that tick you off / piss you off the most. Understand what about them pisses you off. And acknowledge they are not you, and you are not them. You and them are different.
THEN figure out how to deal with them AS THEY ARE (and not how you wished they would be) to get the RESULTS that you want.
And finally try out your cunning plan to see how it goes; and to get valuable (real-world) FEEDBACK.
WAY 14
Step 1 in quality Decision Making
If you are not ready - physically or emotionally - to make a high-grade decision, call a “TIME OUT!” and take care of the basics. And if you are pressured to make a decision ‘now’ tell the other person (especially if it is your boss) that they can either have a 60% quality decision now, or a 90% decision if they give you an hour to take care of the basics.
Before make ANY decisions this week, check in to see how you are physically and emotionally.
Call a "TIME OUT" if you are not ready.
See what difference it makes (feedback).
Also listen to my audiobook on Decision Making Mastery.
RESOURCE
Download the Decision Making Mastery by Carl Massy Audiobook from Dropbox (the download icon is in the top right corner).
DOWNLOAD NOWWAY 15
Don't do this
Don’t make decisions without the necessary ‘Facts’. Assumptions are not facts, so you need to verify them from reliable sources. Do not avoid those ‘tough conversations’ as they will save you plenty of disruption down the track, and might even strengthen your relationship with that person (and build self-esteem for yourself).
What decisions do you need to make now, or this week / month?
Look at all the details you have for the decision and be very discerning about whether any of the details are 'assumptions'.
Then make the calls, do the research, ask the Pro's, set up the meeting, or do whatever you need to do to turn all the details into FACTS.
Now you can make your decision.
WAY 16
When 'Pride' is not a good thing
Choose Courage each and every day. Choose to be more courageous in your relationships. More courageous in the workplace. More courageous in your dinner table conversations. More courageous in co-creating your destiny. More courageous in your goal setting.
You only need to be a little (4%) more courageous than yesterday, and the compound effect of being more courageous, day-to-day, will change the entire trajectory of your life.
Look at one area professionally and one area personally in your life to focus on this week, where you could be more courageous.
Come up with 1-5 SPECIFIC ways you could be more Courageous in these specific areas.
Then DO IT and see what results you get.
WAY 17
Be conscious of the source of your feedback
Don’t avoid discomfort this week. Lean curiously and consciously into it and see what it has to tell you.
A simple question might be just to ask if this experience you are having now is stretching you or likely to snap you (given where you are now in your personal development).
Alternatively, you might ask if this is ‘discomfort’ or ‘pain’ I am experiencing right now? The rule: Lean into discomfort. Step back from pain. Learn to distinguish the difference between the two this week.
A Challenge:
Identify an area of your life where you don't feel comfortable when experiencing it. Maybe it is socially. Maybe physically. Maybe intellectually. Maybe it is learning a new skill.
This week LEAN INTO that discomfort and see how far you can stretch it. See what happens. How does it make you feel? What else is now possible?
You might want to identify what you are avoiding and try to understand through the lens of perception of CURIOSITY, what are you telling yourself that makes you avoid this. Is it story or fact? How can you do the opposite of avoidance?
Then DO IT and see what happens.
WAY 18
This is not fun, but it beats a repeat
If something ‘bad’ or uncomfortable happens to you in life, don’t run away from it, or hide from it, until you have learned all you could from it, by looking at it through the lens of curiosity. And if you feel you don’t have the emotional capacity, stability or perspective to view this on your own, definitely get professional help. It might be less costly (financially and emotionally) to get help, than to go through the whole mess one more time.
Pick a past event that you might label as a 'bad' event, or failure, or disaster, or whatever other negative meaning you have given it.
Take some deep breaths, put your Curiosity glasses on, and see what you find.
Ask these questions:
"What is something beneficial that I can learn from this event, that will support me in future?"
"What did I do well, poorly, average, or that I could have done which might have changed the outcome?"
"What is the greatest lesson from this event, which will lead to greater wisdom and my evolution?
LEARN AND GROW
FOR THOSE WHO BOUGHT THE AUDIOBOOK, YOU CAN DOWNLOAD A PDF LIST OF THE BOOKS I RECOMMENDED IN THE RESOURCES SECTION OF THE DIGITAL OR PAPERBACK VERSION.
Books I (Carl) RecommendCONSOLIDATION TO BREAKTHROUGH
A 6-month Group and 1-on-1 Coaching Program
(Max: 8 people)
Kicking Off 1 March 2024
This 6-months is designed in
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In PART 2 (Break Through),
we take you, from this place of clarity and higher perspective, and release you into the world in a way that is aligned with you, your path, purpose and mission. Now is the perfect time to bring your Goals into Reality.
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LEARN MORE AND SAVE $500 BEFORE 31 DEC 2023
NEED A HELPING HAND?
'FIGURE SHIT OUT' 1Hr SESSION WITH CARL MASSY
TO MAKE LIFE LESS HARD || US$ 250
If you want to go deeper, and get some specific tailored help and in particular a individual 'course of action' for you moving forward, than this might be the perfect investment for you.
And to ensure this session is RESULTS-ORIENTED,
You pay AFTER the session, IF it was of value.
That sounds like a bloody good dealio to me! :)
Send me an email to book in a session: [email protected]
Download Pre Coaching 'Know Thyself' Questionnaire
